We're still on for the Ronald Wilson Reagan commemorative oil slick, right?

America's greatest hero

Rep. Darrell Issa's still on this Reagan kick, I see. That guy does not have a whole lot of notes in his musical arsenal, but when he plays 'em he plays 'em loud.

The House Natural Resources Committee will likely approve legislation Wednesday that would name 3.4 million square nautical miles of ocean and thousands of miles of coastline after the late President Ronald Reagan.

Rep. Darrell Issa?s (R-Calif.) legislation would rename the country?s Exclusive Economic Zone (EEZ), which generally extends from three miles to 200 miles offshore, as the Ronald Wilson Reagan Exclusive Economic Zone.

Reagan was sort of the Lewis and Clark of telling people which stuff was ours, you see, so it stands to reason that we should rename the entire American coastline after him. He didn't really discover anything, mind you, but he did have the brilliant idea to, um? well, I'm not really sure, here. To make executive note of it, I suppose? I think the only substantive effect of this legislation will be to make sure that all future American oil spills take place in something called the Ronald Wilson Reagan zone; I do admit, that has a bit of style to it.

And so continues Darrell Issa's quest for Congress to investigate, debate and accomplish only pointless and silly things. I can't name a single House member who has ever been able to match Issa's record of enforced substancelessness, and I don't know if this is a memory lapse on my part or Darrell Issa really is king of that particular hill. God, can you imagine if he was in the House during the whole freedom fries thing?

"Yeah, um, I'm gonna suggest that we call these things Ronald Wilson Reagan freedom fries. Reagan was a pioneer in, um, eating food and stuff, especially stuff with ketchup on it?oh, and I've got a separate bill to rename ketchup Ronald Wilson Reagan juice. I'm gonna just gonna enter both of these into the Ronald Wilson Reagan congressional record, and I'd like to say for the record once again that I'm disappointed we haven't yet renamed the dollar the Ronald Wilson Reagan, I urge my fellow Reagans to speed up the Reagan on that so we can get it done before Reagan break."

Just kidding. He was of course in the Congress during the freedom fries days, and his own contribution to the effort was to demand the Pentagon ban "French" cellphone technology from being used in post-invasion Iraqi wireless networks. Because, he said, it was French. (Oh, and because his district contained Qualcomm, whose patents were in direct competition to the more widely used GSM standard. Go figure.)

Ten years of pointless shilling and calculated paroxysms. Take a bow, Issa. Take a Ronald Wilson Reagan commemorative hip-bending for all your hard work.

Source: http://rss.dailykos.com/~r/dailykos/index/~3/hOYc7F5T_cU/-We-re-still-on-for-the-Ronald-Wilson-Reagan-commemorative-oil-slick-right

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